June 15th -Day +128

Ryan,

I saw this saying by Lance Armstrong and liked it alot, so I thought I would put it in so you could read and see this one day.

If children have the ability to ignore all odds and percentages, then maybe we can all learn from them. When you think about it, what other choice is there but to hope? We have two options, medically and emotionally: give up, or fight like hell.

We got more results today from last weeks fish test. You are still in remission. Yippppeeeee! Fighting like hell is how I take this result.

Funny, I feel wonderful and thrilled about the news, yet still sad in some ways. I can not help but watch and think of our future, what it holds, etc.
I know many people are probably thinking what am I saying here, but as your mother, I am thrilled about the news, but anxious about the next test and the one after that..It is always right there, staring me in the face.
Daddy told me last night, we have to deal with this for a very long time, and even you being in remission, do not mean that every couple of weeks we have to await these results. It is so hard and every day that we get closer to a result, I feel I get a little more freaked out and my days become harder and harder to deal with.
Ryan, I have had some bad days recently and I am hoping that I can get them under control!
I cry alot and watch you alot and take in every minute of every day with you.
We are trying to get back to a normal routine and Daddy and I have many things to figure out in the next couple of months.

Hopefully in a few months we can contract Children's wish foundation and let them know we are ready to go ahead with the trip to Disney. I know you will love it. Mommy just wants to make sure you are ready to go and that we do not do to much to soon.

I love you baby...

Mommy.